You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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