Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize