gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
