Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
