When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
