conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
