I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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