Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
