Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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