i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
