I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
