She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she peed on how many people?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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