At least make sure they are 18
Why
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
