if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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