dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
