He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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