paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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