She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
