im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
