Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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