he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
this just has baby written all over it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize