I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
