I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
