Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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