I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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