Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
