my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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