is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
