the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize