Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
