Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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