We're facebook friends in real life
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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