**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
