It's Friday. Sex?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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