ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
They are going to name an STD after you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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