Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
