does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
