your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize