GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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