So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
