I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can't turn off my feet"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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