how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm drive I can fine osifer
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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