I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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