my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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