Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
