Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Too much gin, very little bucket
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize