You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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