She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
