Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
