I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
