He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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