I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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