I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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