Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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